Watching the freshmen recently move into Colorado University reminded me of my own struggles navigating the college system. I was like a deer in the headlights. It was so difficult at times that I considered transferring. It was during my freshman year where I first found myself in therapy trying to sort out some serious imposter syndrome, feelings of failure, and difficulty fitting in. As a therapist for first-gen students in Colorado and New York, I wrote this guide to help first-gen students as they embark on their college journey.
The transition to college can often be overwhelming for college freshmen, but in particular for those who are the first in their families to go to college. In addition, many first-gen students come from various socioeconomic, ethnic, and racial backgrounds which can be underrepresented in the general student population. Starting college is a major transition for anyone, but as a first-gen student, you face unique obstacles. Understanding these challenges and knowing where to seek support can make a significant difference in your experience.
Common Struggles for First-Generation College Students
Navigating the College System
Without family members who have gone to college, you might find the academic and administrative aspects of college overwhelming. This includes understanding financial aid and course registration, navigating office hours, and locating campus resources. Additionally, if you come from an immigrant background, your family may have learned to be self-sufficient, trying to stay under the radar, preferring to stick with informal community networks instead of seeking out institutionalized resources. If you’re first-gen, you may have learned that asking for help is a sign of weakness and you don’t want to get caught looking incapable.
Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is actually a sign of intelligence, though often we are taught it is a sign of weakness. Many colleges have a first-gen office dedicated to helping students like you. They’ll orient you to what services and programs are available on campus such as peer mentoring programs and academic advising, and they may also offer some services that are exclusive to first-gen students. Moreover, these offices often put on events and activities where you can meet other first-gen students on campus. They want to set you up for success. They want to see you do well. Don’t hesitate to use campus resources designed to help first-gen students like you.
2. Balancing Responsibilities
Many first-gen students juggle multiple responsibilities, such as part-time jobs, family obligations, or financial pressures. Balancing these with academic demands can be daunting. On one hand, you have to uphold your commitment to your family, and on the other hand, you cannot squander the college opportunity before you. Trying to do everything and be everything to everyone can feel overwhelming.
Support: Create a structured schedule that allocates time for studying, working, and personal activities. Yes, your main priority is studying, but college is meant to create well-rounded individuals, and the social aspects of college are important too. You may use a paper calendar, a planner, or a Google calendar.
Support: College is a big adjustment for first-gen students. You go from living with your family full-time for 18 years to suddenly living on your own. Your family may need to get used to your limited availability and learn how to become less dependent on you. There will be some growing pains. Change can be uncomfortable, however, is a natural part of life. Let them know you haven’t forgotten about them, but that you have to focus on school. Offer to set up designated day(s)/times to speak to them so you can maintain the connection while setting boundaries on your time and energy. This is true for the homies back home too. They probably miss you and might think that you’ve moved on without them, but you know your roots. Make sure to schedule time to catch up with them too, perhaps once/month.
Support: When you have a personal problem and you may not be able to honor all of your commitments and responsibilities, make sure to stay in communication with your professors, resident advisor, academic advisor, and work-study supervisor. Sometimes it may feel you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You have been the first in your family for a lot of things. But you are only one person and there are only 24 hours in a day. If you need a break, ask for it. It may seem scary to ask for help. Afterall, someone could say, “no”, but at the same time, people cannot help you if they do not know what is going on. It’s way worse to ghost or let things get away from you, than keeping them informed. This is where the first-gen office on campus could also serve as an advocate.
Support: Remember to set parameters on your screen time for social media. Your phone has options to set limits on the time you spend on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, etc. You won’t believe how many hours of time you can get back from limiting your scrolling. While you study, it might even help you to put your phone in a different room or some place out of reach.
Support: Your college probably offers counseling services, time management workshops, accommodations for extra time on assignments and exams or apps if you have a neurodivergent diagnosis or IEP, food pantry, financial work-study/grants, and free metrocards or transport opportunities. Utilize these resources to manage stress and balance your responsibilities effectively, as a first-gen student. Having the knowledge of what’s out there to help you is crucial to making your college experience go smoothly. Many students who came from privileged backgrounds have already had the exposure and know what’s out there. You’re starting from scratch. Utilizing the resources on campus is a way to enhance your knowledge of how systems work and prepares you to navigate systems in the real world when you graduate.
3. Feeling Out of Place
Many first-gen students experience imposter syndrome or feel disconnected from peers who come from more privileged backgrounds. Your life experience has been different from those with whom you are now sitting in class. Their experiences don’t resonate with yours and that makes you feel out of place. I remember I went to school with the son of a billionaire owner of multinational hedge fund who decided instead of living in the dorms, he was going to live in a tent in a professor’s backyard. This made no sense to me and I could not wrap my head around why anyone would want to do that at the time. My dad was a police officer and my mom a librarian, and they worked so hard so that I could be at that college. But there were many kids in college who did things very differently from me. It made me start to question if this was the right place for me. I was told I needed to go to college to get ahead in life, but I felt very out-of-place. Feeling isolated like this can affect your confidence and academic performance. Imposter syndrome may set in. You may start to isolate. However, it’s so important that you find people who understand you and make you feel seen and heard. They will help you get through this process. They will normalize what you are going through. As humans, it’s in our biology to feel connected especially when we are under stress. College is a demanding environment with multiple responsibilities coming at you at once. Connection is key to help you overcome the challenge.
Support: If you’re first-gen, connect with campus organizations and groups related to your interests or cultural background. Many schools have student organizations specifically for first-generation students and students of color or particular ethnic backgrounds such as the Latin American Student Organization, South Asian Student Organization, African-American Student Organization, Southeast Asian Student Alliance, Korean Student Association, etc. Building a network can help you feel more connected and supported.
Support: College is also an opportunity to try on different identities. Sometimes we stick to what we know because it feels safe. But in college, you’re starting anew. No one knows you and you get to reinvent yourself and try some of the things that maybe you could not while in high school. Sometimes people typecast us and we get stuck in our identities, but in college you get to play with the different aspects of your personality and intersectionality. Don’t limit yourself. There’s no right or wrong way to be.
Support: Locate the other first-gen students on campus. There are many programs that support first-gen students such as: POSSE, Questbridge, and Upward Bound. Often times these programs have a point of contact on campus, a liaison who is in charge of facilitating programming for these students. Connect with the point of contact who may be able to connect you with other first-gen students.
4. Academic Pressure
The transition to college-level coursework can be intense as a first-gen student. I know it kicked my ass. For the first time in my life, I questioned my abilities. If you didn’t have the same academic preparation as your peers, you might feel unprepared or overwhelmed. You may feel like a failure or like you can’t hack it. That’s not true. The fact of the matter is that the playing field was never even or fair. You just didn’t have the same access to resources that some of your peers have had. You’re playing catch up. It does not for one second mean that you are not smart enough or that you are not capable.
Support: You got this, but you MUST take advantage of academic support services like tutoring centers, writing labs, and study groups. It may feel vulnerable at first to ask for help. You may feel weak or like something is wrong with you because you haven’t really had to ask for help before. Things may have come easy. But I promise, you will get there. You just need to learn how to play the game and part of the game in college is understanding your limitations and areas for improvement or growth. It can take time, effort, and energy, and it will be challenging. If you take advantage of office hours, peer mentoring, and study skills workshops, you will have learned how to do this thing called college by junior/senior year. It’s like the SATs. It’s not necessarily about knowing the test content, so much as it is about knowing how to take the test. College is similar. Don’t hesitate to communicate with your professors if you’re struggling; they can offer additional help or resources. Your college wants you to graduate. People want to see you succeed. But you must be willing to help yourself for others to help you.
5. Mental Health and Well-being
Going to college as a first-gen student is a lot to digest at once. The pressure of succeeding in college, combined with the challenges of adjusting to a new environment, can take a toll on your mental health. The goal is to graduate and to graduate you must pass classes. However, this goal is fixated on achievement and success and doesn’t always acknowledge the whole person behind the student. Your success won’t matter if you’ve sacrificed your mental health and well-being.
Support: As a therapist for first-gen students, I always start with the basics. In order to conquer challenges, we must ensure we are eating nutritiously and getting enough sleep. When we are not meeting these most basic of human needs, we start to become less resilient to the difficulties around us. This also includes monitoring your alcohol usage. Alcohol is scientifically proven to make us feel more sad and anxious. Additionally, limit caffeine. While it may seem like there are not enough hours in the day, and coffee is necessary for survival, caffeine can throw off sleep patterns making you extra sluggish and more dependent on it.
Support: Create healthy habits. Ensure you are taking study breaks, eating healthy snacks, drinking enough water, and finding ways to move your body and exercise in whatever capacity that looks like for you. Healthy bodies complement healthy minds. Check out the hours of your campus fitness center which in addition to the gym probably offers supplementary programming such as yoga, Pilates, dance classes, and intramural sports teams.
Support: Create a self-care practice. Make time for rest. College can be busy between the school work, work-study, and socializing. Rest and self-care are as equally important. Rest is also productive though that might not feel intuitive. Maybe you find time to nap, get your nails done or wear a hydrating sheet mask, or you play a video game for 30-minutes. Maybe you find a YouTube meditation or guided visualization. Maybe you go for a hike or walk in nature off campus. Remember to take care of yourself.
Support: Most colleges offer mental health resources such as confidential counseling services, workshops, and support groups. A mental health therapist can be a safe person to talk to about some of the difficulties and hardships you are facing at college as a first-gen student. A therapist can be a sounding board to validate and normalize your concerns while also helping you identify areas for growth and development. Lastly, a therapist can offer tips, tricks, and skills to help you adapt to the college environment. Support groups offer mutual support from other students feeling the same way you do. They can be a great way to navigate struggles together while learning different strategies and skills to overcome the challenges that college brings. Take advantage of these free resources.
Support: Find an off-campus therapist. If you’ve exhausted all of your college’s counseling sessions or didn’t have a great connection with the therapist at the counseling center, you always have the option to look for a therapist in the community.
Hi! My name is Alicia, and I am a therapist specializing in working with first-gen college students and young adults in both Colorado and New York. If you want more information on how I can help you, see my first-gen page.
I provide therapy where first-gen students can explore their experiences in a supportive and understanding environment, develop coping strategies, and find a path that honors all aspects of their identity. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure of where to turn, contact me. Therapy can be a great starting point to help you master the challenges of being a first-gen college student.
